Disappointment Strikes When You Are Expecting Joy
Disappointment surprised me on December 1st. It was going to be a joyous occasion to go and pick out our family tree together. We even went to church early so we could beat the impending rain that was to come later in the day. As we approached the tree lot, the trees were gone, we had missed out on getting a tree from “our spot.” It was then that I felt disappointment creep in. I wasn’t devastated…just disappointed.
What if we couldn’t find a tree in the size I want? What if it took all afternoon to find a tree? I can’t believe we just drove through North Carolina on the way home from thanksgiving and didn’t get a tree?! All these thoughts rushed my mind, but I shrugged it off and trusted that there had to be a tree in Savannah that would suffice. We pulled up into the Home Depot parking lot, my kids and husband stayed in the car as I ran into see if there were any trees left. Dark clouds were rolling in, and it was only a matter of minutes before a downpour. I found a worker who so kindly held up the last tree so I could get a good look at it. It was a little scraggly on the bottom and really full on top…but the wind was picking up so I blurted out, “yes I will take it!” As my husband and the worker strapped it to the top of the car, the rain started. As soon as we pulled away, downpour. It was a Christmas miracle.
How Disappointment Led Me To Hope
Was it the beautiful family experience I had hoped for and anticipate with joy every year? No. But, something strange happened in me when I felt disappointed. Disappointment turned my eyes and heart to God. Immediately when there were no trees in the lot, we prayed. Then, when I found myself grabbing the last tree at our next stop…I was thankful. As we drove home I oddly found myself longing to read more of the Bible during Advent. Not that it is odd to want to read my Bible, but just odd to feel that longing in that moment when I was feeling a little disappointed.
Advent is Dec 1-24 when Christians read about the events surrounding Jesus’ Birth. It’s a reminder of how much hope surrounds Christmas. That is what my heart was longing for, Hope. Hope in place of disappointment. I realized on December first that it isn’t a matter of “if” disappointment will creep in this holiday season, but “when”.
So many things are beyond our control, and yet there is one who is constant and consistent. When you feel disappointment this holiday season, I challenge you to stop and refocus your mind on things bigger than your circumstances. Focus your mind on Jesus. If you don’t know where to start, SheReadsTruth.com has a beautiful and brief daily Advent reading on their website for free! What a gift to give yourself, just a few minutes a day of refocusing your heart and mind. I love the verse that says:
If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. Jeremiah 29:13
He is waiting and ready to receive us when we come to him. But it does take us making the effort to come. I love how disappointment drew me to come. Disappointment led me to this verse:
5 I wait for the LORD; I wait
and put my hope in his word.
6 I wait for the Lord
more than watchmen for the morning—
more than watchmen for the morning.
7 Israel, put your hope in the LORD.
For there is faithful love with the LORD,
and with him is redemption in abundance.
8 And he will redeem Israel
from all its iniquities.
Psalm 130:5-8
These words infused hope into my disappointed heart, “I wait for the Lord, and put my hope in his word. And with him is redemption in abundance.” My hope is not in a tree, or in all the holiday traditions I am looking forward to. Though I can certainly anticipate those things greatly, what happens when they let you down? My true hope is in a person. A wave of relief came over me. Who can do that? Who can promise abundant redemption, and offer hope in the midst of disappointment? How many times will my heart be disappointed by something so silly this holiday season? My human heart is so fickle! I’m so thankful for words that bring me back to Hope.
May your disappointment also lead you to hope this holiday season!
Want to see our tree that was the last to be picked? Drumroll…
Not so bad, is it?!